Recently my friend Melissa wrote a post on her blog. She titled it "My Non-Apology Letter". You can read it here: http://ldslissa.blogspot.com/2014/07/my-non-apology-letter.html. She has some great thoughts that I think we can all apply to our lives. Today, I am partially responding to her post, and expanding on some of my own thoughts.
I believe that every day, we either create or destroy. A part of our genetic makeup and divine potential is our ability to create. Ultimately, it is our purpose on earth. We create homes, families, careers, titles, technology, methods for survival, entertainment, and a host of other things. Most importantly, we create ourselves. It's true. More than discovering ourselves, we create ourselves. Which brings me to a thought...surround yourself with people who accept you as you are!
A few months before my relationship with Richard began, I was interested in a young man. To be discreet, I'll call him Sam. We had been on a few dates, and I thought we really clicked. I felt very comfortable around Sam, and he seemed to be pretty comfortable around me. Our dates usually had a good balance of serious, deep discussion, and comical and amusing conversation. I thought there was a good chance that he was interested in me, and I was interested in him. And then he fell off the face of the earth.
I didn't hear from him for a couple of weeks, and thought this was strange. Being friends with one of Sam's roommates, I asked him about it. His roommate told me that Sam was interested, but that he was also intimidated by me because I expressed myself very well, and was a pretty passionate person. He suggested that I try to be a little more...soft, for lack of a better word. I thought this was decent advice. Sometimes I come off as harsh when I only mean to be passionate and excited, and so I tried this, and asked Sam on another date. Come to find out, he had thought that I was older than he was (and consequently five years older than I actually am), and that too had intimidated him. Our date went very well. He held my hand and was a perfect gentleman and I was pretty ladylike.
Before I continue, let it be understood that Sam is a really kind, fun, wonderful person. He wasn't controlling or critical or requiring me to change. We just didn't fit, and there's nothing wrong with that.
Richard and I started dating, and one day, out of the blue he said, "You know what my favorite thing about you is?
"No, what?"
"You're terrifying."
Usually being called terrifying is not a compliment. But he meant it to be, and this peaked my curiosity so I asked him to explain.
"I never know what you're going to do. You terrify me.
You're incredibly unpredictable and it's so exciting. I love that I never know what you're going to do. It's fun. You keep me guessing."
You're incredibly unpredictable and it's so exciting. I love that I never know what you're going to do. It's fun. You keep me guessing."
Richard accepts me as I am, and he always has.
I have other friends who accept me as I am too, which is a huge blessing. The point is, because we create ourselves, we should take enough pride in ourselves to be confident in who we are, and don't need to change just because we want to "fit" with another person or a group of people. As we create ourselves, it is important that we create someone that we are proud of, and that we surround ourselves with people who think we're worth time and effort. These social interactions make us happier, boost our confidence, and encourage us to be better, instead of pressuring us to change. While we can always improve ourselves, and the people around us can help us do so, feeling pressured to change, or feeling that we have to apologize for being who we are can poison our spirits and prevent us from creating ourselves.
Mostly though, I'm a girl who is doing the best she can. I'm a daughter of my Heavenly Father. And I'm proud of all of it.
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