As it turns out, I am unable to sleep tonight...well, it's morning now. I usually stay up until one or so, but months of not going to sleep until sometime between one and five in the morning gets exhausting pretty quickly. (I haven't slept well since surgery.) Anyway, my sleep pattern is all screwed up, and while I would like to sleep, I am unable to. I think it's because there is a lot going on inside of my head right now.
One of the things I keep thinking about is that sometimes it's easier to be strong when there is someone to be strong for, and when it isn't just for yourself. When you have to be strong to help a person you love, and to keep them going, it's easier. When you're helping others rise, it's easy to be strong. There is a reason to be strong - someone to be strong for. It's as if while making everything okay for that person, you are making things okay for yourself.
And this is really a beautiful thing. The problem is, sometimes you're left alone with your thoughts and there is no one to strengthen, and so you find yourself weak. Or maybe it's not weak. Maybe it's just that you don't feel as strong as you would like to be.
Yes, it's short. And to some it may be pointless. But I've gotten some thoughts out of my head and written down, and that, if nothing else, feels good. Sometimes people just need to get things onto paper. It makes things seem clearer. It can be calming. ...and now I'm rambling. Well, that's my thought for the evening....morning...for now.
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