"Uterus" is Not a Bad Word

Why do we tell children that a baby lives in Momma's tummy? We all know that it doesn't. So why do we tell them it does? Why, of all the things we let kids see and hear, is it not okay to give them medically accurate and age appropriate information? There is nothing inappropriate about the word 'uterus'.

When I was a kid, I asked my mom where the baby was, and like almost every mother, she said, "In my tummy." Now, as a young mother, this was probably the first time she had answered this question, and culture teaches us that that's what you're supposed to tell kids. So I don't fault her at all for telling me that. But let me take you on a walk inside of my mind:

Image taken from: https://acclaimclipart.com

"My brother is in mom's tummy....well...I've thrown up what's been in my tummy before, so I know what's in there, and it's gross." In my mind, an image of a baby floating around in puke emerged. Not a pretty picture. I was confused, and here's the mildly amusing but scary part. I didn't ask any more questions about it because I decided that surely Mom was wrong about that because that didn't make sense. And then comes other questions - so when a baby comes out, do they cut her open? Or does she poop the baby out like she poops food out? See? None of this makes any sense! Even to a kid!

I know that many people are uncomfortable talking to their kids about sex. The uterus has nothing to do with the act of sex, just with the results of sex. And it's good, not bad. So let's walk through this. How can we define uterus in an age appropriate way?

dictionary.com gives us the following definition:

"Uterus: a hollow muscular organ lying within the pelvic cavity of female mammals. It houses the developing fetus and by contractions aids in its expulsion at parturition."

Now, that definition is probably going to go over a young child's head. So here is a potential age appropriate answers to the question "Where is the baby?". Of course, there are many options, and an honest, medically accurate answer can be presented in many ways, and depending on the age and maturity of the child.
"Mom has a part of her body called a uterus. It's a special place/organ/home that's made just for a baby so that it can grow."

There is nothing inappropriate about that! So why are we saying tummy? It confuses kids and it's kind of a gross image. And if the kid is anything like me, they probably think you're lying to them, or you have no idea what your talking about. This leads us to a worse problem. If kids think you're lying to them, or your answers make no sense, they aren't  going to keep coming to you with their questions. And when they are eleven-thirteen and going through puberty, their questions may be answered by friends or the internet instead of being answered by Mom and Dad.

It's so important that we are honest with children. Guys, UTERUS just simply is not a bad word. It's okay to say it. There's no difference between that word and "eye" or "brain" or "elbow" or "heart" or "stomach".

Marriage: My Story

I want to tell you a story.

I met my husband exactly two weeks before my sixteenth birthday and we clicked instantly. When he found out I was turning 16, he proclaimed,"In two weeks, we are going on a date." And we did. It was my very first date, and even though I had to admit that I was about to throw up (he bought me a Sprite and I was okay!), it still ranks as one of the best dates I have ever been on. From that point on, we spent a lot of time together. We went to prom together, we built gingerbread houses, cooked, danced and played Just Dance on the Kinect. But throughout high school and much of my college life, we didn't date. We were just friends. In fact, I considered myself to be "one of the guys" because most of the time we were hanging out with our families or with his friends, Jacob and Jacob. We have always been extremely close and open with one another, even when we were dating others.

I didn't realize that I was attracted to Richard until May of 2014. He was living in El Paso, Texas, and I was living in Provo, Utah. We began to talk for hours every day. One night, we began talking around seven and we didn't hang up until seven thirty the next morning. The only reason we did hang up was because I had a breakfast date. I think that's how I knew I had feelings for him - it didn't feel like we had been talking all night. It felt like just a few hours. We never ran out of things to talk about. We still haven't.

I went to visit him in El Paso over the fourth of July. Three hours after getting off the plane, he asked me to officially be his girlfriend, and of course I said yes. Three days later, we were sitting on the couch in his apartment, and he told me that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and that he loved me. I told him that I loved him too and that I also wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. We moved on to some other topic (probably food, knowing us). About an hour later he said, "So we're engaged now, right?" It caught me completely off guard and I had no idea what he was talking about. I recalled him saying the he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, and realized that that was an indirect was of proposing. I sat there, continuing to think. I'm sure the silence must have terrified him, but I didn't want to answer unless I was sure. I realized that I knew Richard better than almost anyone else, and that the past few days dating had been no different from our friendship in high school except that we were holding hands and kissing. I felt so good about marrying him (and it was more than hormones - I can't explain it). It felt obvious. So I said yes. We were engaged for almost six months, and were married on December 20, 2014.

Now we are living in Provo. I have just two semesters of school left, and Richard is a mentor at one of the best boys' treatment academies in the nation. We have been through medical and financial disasters, long nights of homework, and backlash of others regarding our marriage. But we love each other more than ever.

Everyone thought we were insane, and without knowing all of the details, I can completely understand why. It does sound crazy. But it has been one of the best decisions we have made. Richard has helped me grow in ways I didn't believe were possible. I am a much better person, and it's been really exciting to watch Richard progress as well. I am so glad that he picked me. I know that there have been many comments made about Richard and I's marriage, but I hope you know three things:

1. We have a happy, holy and healthy relationship.
2. The disrespectful things people have said have cut us and our families deeply.
3. It is time for you to be happy for us. Our marriage has nothing to do with anyone else (except for God) anyway.

Sorry about the little lecture at the end. We are just so happy and want everyone else to be happy for us too. So there's our story. Personally I think it's kind of a cute one.