Surgery number two is four weeks from yesterday. As I remarked previously, this time I am not nervous, because I know what I am getting myself into. ... This time, I simply dread the impending surgery. Having had this surgery before, I have a little more knowledge about how I can be better prepared for the surgery. I've been thinking a lot about what kinds of advice I can pass on for those who will undergo a periacetabular osteotomy. Here is some advice for the paitent themselves and for family/friends during hospitalization:
For the patient:
Just let it happen. I know that that's easier said than done, but don't resist. You will have an epidural, a cathater, an enema and be unable to stand for a couple of days. Walking down the hall will make you more exhausted than you have ever been in your life. I'm not trying to be a downer. I'm just being completely honest. Blood will be drawn, and honestly, you will feel like half a human. That's the worst part. You have no control of your body, and the nurses know as much about your body as you do...and probably more. If you resist everything that's going to happen, it will be harder. If you accept it as life and are determined to be positive rather than bitter, and not resist, then it will be much easier. This is advice a dear friend shared with me who has had some challenges with her health that have been much more significant than my own, and I think it's worth passing on.
Also, be patient. Be patient with your nurses, your family and yourself. If you are like me, you are going to be frustrated by things that typically wouldn't upset you in the slightest. I was. Remember that your nurses and your surgeon have a lot to do. You are not the king or queen of the universe, nor are you the only patient in the hospital. And be patient with your family. There's a chance that they'll be really supportive. And that's great! But there's also a chance that they will spend time with you that exceeds your strength. Understand that they have good intentions. And be patient when people don't do things exactly when you want.
For example, in the hospital, my parents washed my hair. And outside of the hospital, before I had a shower stool, my family washed my hair as well. It was really hard for me to be patient when my hair was dirty. I couldn't ask them to wash my hair for me as often as I would wash it, because I didn't want to be anymore burdensome than I already was. But hearing "later" when your hair is really dirty is really frustrating. Because there's nothing you can do about it, and you know that you would feel much better if you were clean. But try to be patient. They are busy people and they have needs too.
Most of all, be patient with yourself. Don't push yourself and don't get angry with yourself when you're unable to do things that you could normally do. Yes, it will be frustrating. You will feel like half a human being. And you will probably hate it - if you're anything like me. You will be frustrated with your body because of it's sudden limitations. Try not to be. Be patient.
Accept help from other people. Yep. Time to get off your high horse and accept that you are largely helpless and need people to do everything for you - to help you get out of bed, help you get dressed, help you in and out of the car, etc.And you will even need help at three in the morning to go to the bathroom. Don't be afraid to ask for it. Stop being stubborn. You need help.
For the friends/family of the patient:
Sometimes it is perfectly fine to make jokes about the surgery. But understand that this is serious. And sometimes joking about a situation like this makes the patient feel annoyed and embarrasseed. It can also make them feel like you really empathize with the situation. It's not funny! Especially if the person is nervous. It doesn't help. It makes things worse. So don't tease them about the the cathater or the enema or the stupid hospital socks, or the screws or anything else. Don't laugh when they puke or make jokes about their inability to walk. (But don't be too serious either! It's not a tragic event.)
Don't wear our your welcome. Visits are wonderful. I greatly appreciated all of the family that came to see me. But make sure you don't stay to long, and don't lounge around too much either. I remember that I was always very excited to see people who visited, and I appreciated my parent's support and attention. However, at the same time, I really just wanted to be left alone. I was tired. You have to understand that I didn't get much sleep at night. Nurses come in every few hours, and I had trouble sleeping anyway. I typically received one to three hours of sleep every night. In addition, my body was exhausted - it had, after all, taken quite a beating. So when you visit, be aware of the patient. If they seem particularly tired, leave. Hours and hours of lounging around their room isn't really necessary. If the patient is at all like me, they will welcome visitors, but greatly appreciate and desire privacy.
Just a few little pieces of information. As I get closer to the surgery, I'll post a list of what to bring to the hospital, post-op advice and so forth.
Four weeks. Just four weeks.
